Change
by Photophobic
Summary: Because sometimes, we want to turn back the clock and freeze time. Karin and Rukia discuss how things have progressed, for better or worse.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, needless to say, considering how I freaked out upon reading the newest chapter (424). However, it was due to said chapter that I was inspired to type out this in dedication of the whole new arc. I'm kind of curious, especially with the time jump Bleach has taken. Although, the only new character designs I'm really happy with are Yuzu and Karin. Older Karin looks _exactly_ how I thought she would.**

**Spoilers: vague, but there.**

…

**Change**

…

Karin didn't tell.

She guessed it was wrong to keep it a secret, but she couldn't break her promise. Not even when Ichigo began to stare off into space. It was the type of daze that scared her because he would be so moody afterward. On the days that those trances were most frequent, he'd talk in his sleep. She heard him sometimes. It wasn't a coincidence that, not long after, _she _would show up.

Karin sat on the rooftop, just above her brother's window. The moon was full tonight. She pulled at the ends of her longer hair and fixed her shirt. These…_feminine_ developments were part of growing up, she supposed, but they weren't how she _wanted_ to grow. If she stayed a kid for a long time, that was fine with her, so long as she could be _strong._

Like a Shinigami.

Karin was drawn out of her thoughts by light footsteps behind her and a familiar reiatsu.

"It's been awhile," she whispered. "…Rukia."

The Shinigami woman perched next to her. "I suppose in your time, it has been."

"Two months," Karin stated. She turned to see her companion. Rukia was still the Rukia she was seventeen months ago, when Ichigo had last seen her. She was a Shinigami. She didn't age as fast as the rest of them. There was the pale skin, the black hair, the wide violet eyes. Karin looked her over and kept looking. Where was it?

"You won't find it this time," Rukia assured. "Left shoulder. Butterfly."

A sigh left Karin's lips. "Can I see?"

Rukia slipped the edge of her Shinigami uniform down just far enough to reveal a tiny black butterfly nestled on her skin. The tattoo was well done.

"It's nice," Karin said.

Rukia nodded and replaced the fabric, shifting her lieutenant's badge as well. That badge had been the first. Then came the new hairstyle. An earring in the cartilage that was almost never seen due to said new hairstyle. A scar on her arm. The occasional presence of make-up. One time, there were tears. The mascara had run. Now, there was the butterfly.

Karin had noticed all of these. Every time the Shinigami came back, some small detail was different. Rukia was obsessed with change. After all, she was stuck at one place in time while Ichigo grew older. He was human, something she could never be. Karin was only waiting for _it_ now. The question always came without fail.

"So…how's Ichigo doing?"

Karin stared at the moon. "He's doing fine."

"He looked lost," Rukia said. "I…followed him today. For several hours, actually."

"What did you expect?" Karin asked. "His friend Ishida is out killing Hollows while he sits at his desk. He has to live with a sister who still has some of the power he lost. Plus, it's his senior year, meaning he has to start deciding what he is going to do for the rest of his life, but we both know that none of the jobs out here in the human world are what he wants."

Rukia bit her lip. "He hasn't moved on much."

"He misses everything he had," Karin rebuked. "He misses being a Shinigami, even if he keeps saying that he finally has the normal life he always wanted. He misses protecting people and doing great things. He misses his second home in Soul Society. But, most of all, he misses you."

"…I know."

"It's hard," Karin told her, "to not tell him that you stop by and that I see you."

"It will be harder if we do tell him," Rukia answered. "Ichigo is human. He needs to live the rest of his life in the World of the Living. To do that, we need to distance him from Soul Society as much as possible."

Karin shook her head. "But it's driving him crazy. One day, I found him tearing through his whole room just to find some piece of evidence that it was all real. He _needs_ to know it's real."

"I was afraid this would happen," Rukia said. "He's lost in the dream. He can't wake up."

"Being human isn't enough for him anymore." Karin buried her head into her arms. "You don't understand. He has these…moments. He'll forget. To him, Soul Society, fighting Hollows, _your world_; that was his reality. _This_ is the dream. He doesn't notice much of anything anymore. I feel like…he's still with you. We're growing up and he _can't._"

Rukia's eyes began to feel wet. Of course. Of course this had happened. She'd known it would as much as she'd hoped it wouldn't. Ichigo was in pain and…and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Please visit him," Karin begged. "Out of everything he needs to be real, I know that if he starts to forget you, we might lose him."

"I've never heard you talk like that," Rukia muttered. She let out a strangled laugh. "And you said he was fine. Karin, I realize you're scared. I am, too, but there's not much we can do."

"You know, I used to hate the fact that he was a Shinigami," Karin confessed. "He was always in danger and always disappearing. But now, if there was any way he could go back to being one…"

"We'd take it," Rukia finished. "We all would. As much as he hates to admit it, even Renji misses Ichigo."

Karin felt the older woman's arm wrap around her. Her gaze moved to the zanpakto laying close by. It reminded her of a thought that had been plaguing her for weeks. More of an idea, really, and probably a bad one at that, but she had to at least ask.

"Neh, Rukia?" Karin inquired.

"Yeah?"

Karin leaned a little closer. "You said the first time Ichigo became a Shinigami, it was because you leant him your powers, right?"

"Illegally, yes," Rukia confirmed, wondering where on earth the girl could be going with this.

"Well, what if I became a Shinigami?" Karin's words flowed out faster now, forming an endless stream that Rukia wouldn't be able to interrupt until it had dried up. "You could train me or I could train myself. I could start asking Ichigo about it, if I had to. Then, once I became a Shinigami, I could give him my powers. I know it wouldn't be the same, but it's better than nothing."

"No, no, no, Karin," Rukia hushed, immediately hugging the girl tighter. "You don't have to do that. Ichigo wouldn't want you to."

"You don't know that," she huffed. "If things keep going like they are now…"

Rukia closed her eyes. "Please, don't even talk like that. Just…wait, okay? I think that now is the best time to tell you that I've been looking for a way to get Ichigo's powers back, too. I've been searching the databases and I might be onto something."

"Tell me as soon as you find it," Karin said. "Promise that the second you know how, we'll give Ichigo his powers back."

"I can't make that promise," Rukia answered. "You know I can't. I want to find out as more of a back-up plan. This is how Ichigo's life is supposed to be. _When_ I find out—not if—then I will tell you, but I'd rather not do anything unless there's really no other choice."

At this, Karin growled. "Why did everything have to change?"

"Because," Rukia whispered, "that's how we learn."


End file.
